I've been seeing this guy off and on for a few months. We're not a couple, but we're definitely more than just friends. (College is making it a bit difficult for us to actually be a couple.) But that's beside the point.

We were having a very serious discussion the other night, as he and I have already been through quite a bit. And all of a sudden he said that he was raped by one of his friends when he first started college. He's never told anyone that, except for a therapist that he saw for a while after that.

I've had female friends that have been raped (very few, thank god), and it just seems wrong to deal with him on the same level as I deal with my female friends. One, the relationship is different. Two, he's a guy, not a girl. There are obviously different sympathies that I need to give. The only problem is, I don't know how to show him that I am sympathetic towards him, that I am here for him no matter what.

Do you have any advice about how I go about this. I really want to be here for him, whether we remain friends, or become something more. Thank you for anything in advance.

I commute into the city every work day and usually take the same trains each day. Some time ago another man made a pass at me which I ignored. He persisted and made several other passes over the course of time. At one point, he looked rather pointedly at my empty ring finger. The next phase of events involved his pointing me out to other men he was with and asking about me. The next phase involved his becoming very agitated whenever he saw me, pacing back and forth. When another man began to accompany him on the platform, I initially thought my worries were over and that he had found somebody. Later, he began making passes again, sometimes with his companion joining him. I'm fairly introverted so the easiest thing for me to do has been to ignore everything. I'm also not homophobic. I know that most of the men that I know would never have tolerated his actions and I feel that he has taken advantage of my tolerance. I think he may also be misinterpreting my reaction!!

Sometimes I feel that I am locked into some mutually destructive game with him. Needless to say, this has all been rather stressful for me and I would like the situation to end. I've tried changing trains, but this is difficult for me because of my schedule. I'm interested in your reaction to the situation and any solutions you propose.

I was raped by my best friend a few years ago. I was a virgin then, and still, years later, I can't seem to "go all the way" with anyone. How can I stop freaking out and messing up relationships?

Sometimes at night I'll have a dream, and then it'll happen! There's no knowing if or when it will happen, but if I have a realistic dream one night, it's bound to come true at one point or another. For example, in first grade, I dreamed that I was in a place I had never seen or been in my life. I didn't even know it existed. Then, in third grade, I walked into the room that I dreamed about in first grade. It was the computer lab of my new school. Or I could be walking down the street and meet someone I have only met in a dream, in the exact same scene as the dream. It is all very confusing, and I think it may be either some sort of precognition or a mental disorder. Could you please tell me why this happens?

I have a problem with hate. I hate my older brother. He molested me when I was young, and now I'm nineteen and I still have to live in the same house as him. My parents know what happened, but they just don't talk about it. I understand that it's hard to deal with. However, I never talk to my brother, and when I move out of my house, I don't plan on ever talking to him again. I don't think this is healthy, but there is nothing that I can do about my hate.

I don't have what would qualify for legitimate reason to go to the campus counseling center. Is this service typically only for medical related problems? I just want to be able to talk to someone about some of my problems right now. I feel like I "know" the answer to all my questions (regarding time management, developing healthy eating and sleeping habits, confusion, signs of depression, life management, etc., etc.). However, I thought it would be helpful to talk to a professional that would help me talk through some of things I'm thinking about. Who can I see?

Thanks very much for being here, for all us angst-ridden students of the world. My problem is that my father died two years ago from a heart attack that he suffered on his way to work. It was very difficult to comprehend his death. It seemed to be so unfair and arbitrary. I was angry. Very angry for a long period of time. I am over that now. I learned that anger is easier, more expedient to deal with than the nitty gritty of emotions.

While I was in England, the leader of the British opposition party died of a fatal heart attack. The news has devastated me. I keep thinking of the awful things that I went through when the same thing happened to me. Will I ever get over this?

Could you comment on therapists who violate boundaries with their patients — sexual and non-sexual (i.e., emotional, personal, financial, professional) boundary violations? Do you know if there are any resources for people who have been exploited by therapists? Thanks.

I AM A LIAR... I lie to my friends, I lie to my family, I lie to people I don't even know, but most of all, I lie to myself. Sometimes I catch myself telling a story to someone and actually believing myself when I made the whole ordeal up. Do I have a problem? Am I a pathological liar? How can I reverse my lies and come clean without hurting the people I love?