Last year I was Teetering on the Brink and this year I've fallen off of it. The teetering individual who was worried about how much she thought about food and her weight has turned into a very scared person who has fallen off the brink, with little on her mind but what she eats, when she eats it, and how she looks. I haven't had my period for almost a year and exercise compulsively until I can't anymore, when my legs simply hurt so bad and my knees won't hold me up. Worse, I seem to be losing bladder control — several times when I've been very tired, I've wet the bed at night or been unable to wait until I got to a bathroom. I can't live like this anymore and every morning I promise myself I'm going to change but then night rolls around and I've not changed a thing. Please tell me something that will help — I never knew desperation's face was this thin.

It's past Thanksgiving vacation and I am still not happy my first year at college. I don't feel like I have a solid routine and yet I feel like I'm in a rut. I have a few friends but they're not really people I want to spend my next four years with and I feel like the cliques have already been decided and I have trouble running up to people and introducing myself anyway. I'm bored all of the time and I sleep an ungodly amount of my life away, and all the literature says that I should be adjusted and having a swingin' time by now. And I'm not. I just want to take control of my life and make it, y'know, START, but I don't have the energy and I wouldn't know where to begin anyway.