I don't have what would qualify for legitimate reason to go to the campus counseling center. Is this service typically only for medical related problems? I just want to be able to talk to someone about some of my problems right now. I feel like I "know" the answer to all my questions (regarding time management, developing healthy eating and sleeping habits, confusion, signs of depression, life management, etc., etc.). However, I thought it would be helpful to talk to a professional that would help me talk through some of things I'm thinking about. Who can I see?

Do you have some advice for someone suffering from low self-esteem? Some things that I struggle with: comparison of myself to others ("She is so "together!" Why am I not like that? What is lacking in me that makes her better?"), lack of faith in my abilities ("I'll never be as good as him at that — I might as well not try."), lots of self-criticizing ("Why did I sign up for this class — I should have known I couldn't handle it."), always saying yes to people or feeling like I've said the wrong thing... you get the idea. I've been feeling pretty unmotivated lately too, and I think this just adds to the problem. Can you give some advice, dear Alice?

I'm currently coming into my second year at a famous but huge university in a big, crowded city. My first year had its ups and downs, but I made a couple friends. The problem is, I commute, and I'm finding it hard socially. I've been depressed for the past year, thinking I'm regressing because I'm not meeting as many people as a normal student would. How does one go from meeting someone in class to hanging out with them on weekends? I feel like I am mostly the one initiating, so I feel like I'm imposing. In addition, the university is rigorous, so I don't always have the time to join the clubs. Any tips on how to make a lot of friends from classes even though I am not dorming?

I recently found out that I am being deployed. I am so concerned with it every minute of the day that I find myself becoming depressed and overwhelmed. What are some good ways to manage these anxieties?

What is the difference between grief and major depression? A few months ago, my boyfriend died in a car accident. Lately, I have been very depressed, but I am not sure if it is just part of the normal grief process or if it is depression.

How can I become more optimistic?

I am 20 years old and recently lost my virginity to my boyfriend of six months. Before this happened, I strongly believed that I would wait until marriage because of both personal and religious reasons. My boyfriend completely understood my morals but then pushed the limits after only one month together and I didn't stop him. Not to mention we had sex before we told each other, "I love you." I regretted my decision the moment it happened. I know (now) that he loves me and I love him, but I still believe that what we are doing is wrong. I hate lying and that is exactly what I am doing by being dishonest with my family and peers. He acts so hurt when we do not have sex but I don't want to anymore. How can I tell him that I want to put an end to our sexual relationship?

Recently, during a phone conversation with my boyfriend, he told me that he turned the volume up on his phone. Soon after, he began to masturbate, while he was talking. I am well aware of phone sex, but the conversation never came up. I had no idea what to say to him. It was very loud and there was no mistaking those sounds. Should I confront him or let it go? Do many men find this satisfying? He complains about not being able to sleep. Could this have something to do with this?