Is there any way to make pap smears less painful?

I am a lesbian who does not enjoy penetration and does not include this in my sexual repertoire. I am concerned, however, about Pap smears. I find the speculum very uncomfortable, even painful — my last Pap was agonizing and embarrassing. If I didn't know how important this annual exam was, I would just stop going.

I am seeking ways to make this experience less traumatic, so my question to you is, is there a way I can obtain a speculum of my own so I can practice at home? Any other advice on the subject of less painful Paps would be appreciated!

Thanks!


Do plant-based sunscreens work?

Recently I bought a sun protection cream from a health food store. The cream claims to provide sun protection (it's labeled SPF 15) by a plant complex made of PABA, willow bark extract, myrtle and myrtus leaf extract. It says that myrtle and myrtus leaf help protect from both UVA and UVB.

My questions are as follows:

1) Can this PABA complex provide the sun protection it claims (SPF 15 for both UVA and UVB rays)? The reason I am asking this is because until now I had only heard of sun protection by titanium dioxide or chemicals like octyl mexaoxycinnamate (did I get it right?). So I am curious to find out.

2) I notice a slight burning sensation in my eyes after I apply the product on my face. Is it true that PABA is a common irritant? (Since I notice many products proudly claiming PABA-free I wonder if it's really not good for you.)

Please help. I hope this question falls within your realm of expertise. After all, you are the 'know it all' around here, aren't you?


What should I do to avoid getting an erection during a massage?

I'm a thirty-something man who has a happy but often stressful life. I'd like to get a massage every now and then, but I'm worried about what might happen when I'm virtually naked and being rubbed all over by another person. In other words, I'm worried about getting an erection during a massage. It seems like there would be no way to hide it.

How do I deal with this? How do masseuses deal with this when it happens? Do they expect their male clients to get aroused? Would they think I'm perverted when I'm lying on the table and standing at attention?