What are the common reasons for condom failure?

I live in Prague, Czech Republic — Europe. Before asking any question, I should tell you that I really appreciate your service. As for my question, I would like to ask you about the most common reasons for condom failure as a contraceptive method. I suppose that the most frequent one is condom breakage. But what are the others? I am especially concerned about pregnancy risk implied by the accidental transfer of sperm in pre-cum to condom by fingers while putting it on.


How can I get over my boyfriend using porn magazines?

So my problem is that recently (about 6 months ago) I discovered that my boyfriend keeps pornographic magazines. We have been going out for 6 years. Much of that has been long-distance, but we have lived together for the last year. This discovery blew me away in part because until then my only complaint about our relationship was the fact that he didn't want sex nearly as often as I did — so now I'm angry that while I was feeling less than satisfied, physically, he was masturbating, and leaving me out in the cold. Since then, I've also noticed that he only wants to have sex after he's spent some time with his mags.

Given that I am horrified by the mere existence of this kind of material — I'm not going to get into a debate about its legality, but I truly believe it is exploitation worse than slavery. Given this, is there any way to work things out with him? In short, how far am I supposed to stretch my ethics, just because part of me believes that sexually, each of us is free to do what we want??


What should I do if my girlfriend's afraid to have sex?

My girlfriend and I have been going out for more than two years now. I am a first-year student (18 years old) and she is 17. We haven't had sex yet, but during the last year and a half we tried pretty much everything there is besides it. I really feel this is the right time, but when I try to talk to her about it, all she says is that she is afraid. She says it is not that she does not believe in losing virginity before marriage, she is just afraid. I don't want to pressure her, but I just feel that maybe I am not the right person for her or something. What should I do? Thanks.


Are there tests for herpes and genital warts?

I have recently gone to a Planned Parenthood STD Clinic. From what they told me, they tested for everything "curable" (i.e., they did not test for HIV, genital warts, or herpes). I know where to get tested for HIV, but my question is: are there tests for herpes and genital warts? What are the odds of someone having herpes or genital warts and being asymptomatic? I plan to use a condom during intercourse regardless, but must I do the same for oral sex as well? Is there any way of knowing for sure if someone is clean of STDs?


What contraception can I use if hormonal birth control is not an option?

I have a blood disorder (leiden factor V) which prevents me from talking any form of birth control with hormones in it. This is a problem as I am very paranoid about getting pregnant, I would like to have a child at some point, but not for five or six years. Condoms just seem to risky, and diaphragms and female condoms don't work well for me. So I'm not quite sure what to do. I am able to take the plan B pill, and wondered if I can just take it after having sex. Or if there are any other options out there I would love to know about them! Thank you!


If my partner and I both have HSV-1 and HSV-2, will having sex cause more outbreaks?

I have tested positive for herpes 1 and herpes 2. My boyfriend has also tested positive for herpes 1 and herpes 2. This a a long-term stable relationship. Neither of us has outbreaks very often.

Since this is a monogamous relationship, do we need to use any protection for genital or oral sex? I understand that we both have antibodies for 1 and 2 so I don't believe we can reinfect each other. However, when I consulted some doctors and sites, they suggested refraining from any sexual intimacy whenever one of us has an outbreak or feels an outbreak is about to happen.

My question is: if we both already have herpes 1 & 2 can we a) re-infect each other or b) cause either of us to have more outbreaks? Also, can we spread the virus to other locations on our own bodies?

Thanks, Alice. I hope you can help us.


Why am I lacking sensation during sex with a partner?

I could not find anything on this on the web. Maybe you can help me. I have a woman in my life who I am considering marrying. The only thing really holding me back is the sex with her. The thing is that there is almost no sensation. Sex with her feels like I'm wearing a condom even though I am not. I am thinking that either she is "large" or "stretched out", or I am too small. Perhaps it's a combination of both. I've been with women who were so snug and tight that I was able to climax within seconds. With this woman, it is very difficult and takes more than 10 minutes. We've tried baby oil, "motion lotion", and KY heating gel.

Nothing works, and I'm fixing to find another woman just to satisfy me, which I don't really want to do. But I know that if I stay with her and nothing changes, I will cheat eventually anyway.

She has never had any children and hasn't really had all that many partners. I'm just thinking that she and I are not a good match in that department.

Can you please advise? Is there anything that she and/or I can do to make for a better "fit" and thus-a better sex life-and ultimately, lifelong monogamy?