How can I stop stalking my ex and his new partner?

I'm in desperate need of help! I have a great boyfriend but my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend constantly plague me. I literally stalk them, unable to let go. I have tried any means possible to learn about what is going on with their lives and I just want to move on. I'm a 21-year-old grad student right now and am on my break, so I have ample time to brood over this issue. Please help me get over this obsession!


How can I help my partner when she has a panic attack?

I need some information about panic attacks. My partner moved with me to NY and, at the time of moving, experienced several attacks of extreme fear.

This has paralyzed her to the extent that she no longer goes to work, her career is on hold, and she requires help traveling, if she travels at all. As well as being incredibly distressing for her, it's not helping our relationship either.

My question relates to my role in helping her recover from this. At present I frequently "overlook" the problem by going everywhere with her and being as supportive as possible. Am I an "enabler"? Should I make her "tough it out," or will she just get better?


What's the process for egg donation and is it safe?

1) I have seen multiple advertisements for egg donation in my school's newspaper. I could sell my eggs for $25,000 or more! That's a year of tuition! There's got to be a catch. When I do some research to find out the procedure and the risks, I only seem to find oocyte donation "businesses" — not the most straight forward sources on the subject. Alice, I trust you! Can you tell me... what have I got to lose?

2) I see lots of ads in the paper here at my school about egg donors wanted. I think that I would like to donate an egg, but I can't find any information on the net about donating — only about receiving a donation. Can you tell me what the process is like, how long it takes, and whether there are side effects or permanent long-term effects? Or point me towards some other resource.


If someone's sexually adventurous, does that mean they're more likely to cheat?

If my wife is sexually adventurous, does it mean she's more likely to cheat? My wife is slowly opening up to me about how sexually adventurous she wants to be (I'm talking bondage-type stuff), and I'm afraid that maybe she might cheat in the future if her "appetite" isn't met. I haven't voiced any of these concerns, I've been completely supportive of it and actually would be completely ok with doing all of it. I just worry that maybe the adventure-ness might be a sign of promiscuity?


How should I tell my partner about my herpes?

When my boyfriend and I began our sexual relationship, he insisted on using condoms. I gratefully agreed because I felt it then wouldn't be necessary for me to tell him about my STD — herpes. Now, two months later he's decided that he "trusts" me enough to stop using the condoms. I don't see any way I can keep the relationship, even if he can handle the STD part, if I tell him I've been lying over the past two months. Do you have any advice? I don't want to lose him, but I don't want to be responsible for giving him any diseases either.


Can I preserve my fertility?

I've heard so many horror stories of women who wait until their mid-thirties or later to have children, then find out that they are infertile. I'm 25 years old now and nowhere near getting married or having babies, yet I don't want this to happen to me when I'm ready. What can I do now to protect my fertility and make sure I am able to conceive when the time is right? It's causing me a lot of anxiety!!


What is my risk of postpartum depression as a mom-to-be with social anxiety disorder?

I'm an anxious person. My clinical diagnosis is social anxiety disorder, but I have anxiety in many other situations and a couple of phobias to boot. I've seen therapists on and off for the past 20 years and have been on multiple SSRIs (I am off of anti-anxiety medications currently). I manage my anxiety with plenty of exercise, sleep, and relaxation exercises, but mostly I just accept that this is the way I am. My husband and I are starting a family soon, and my new worry is post-partum depression or anxiety. If I'm already moody, will the hormones and stresses of pregnancy drive me completely crazy? Does having a history of mental illness put me at a greater risk for developing a disorder like post-partum depression? Thanks for your help!


When should I take a pregnancy test if I have a late period?

My period is late this month, and I'm afraid that I may be pregnant. The weird thing is, though, my partner and I never actually had actual sexual intercourse (in other words, there was no penetration). I'm wondering if the wet environment could still be a risk. I'm hoping that it's due to stress and fatigue with finals coming on that causing this delay. How long should I wait before getting tested?


How can I get over my boyfriend using porn magazines?

So my problem is that recently (about 6 months ago) I discovered that my boyfriend keeps pornographic magazines. We have been going out for 6 years. Much of that has been long-distance, but we have lived together for the last year. This discovery blew me away in part because until then my only complaint about our relationship was the fact that he didn't want sex nearly as often as I did — so now I'm angry that while I was feeling less than satisfied, physically, he was masturbating, and leaving me out in the cold. Since then, I've also noticed that he only wants to have sex after he's spent some time with his mags.

Given that I am horrified by the mere existence of this kind of material — I'm not going to get into a debate about its legality, but I truly believe it is exploitation worse than slavery. Given this, is there any way to work things out with him? In short, how far am I supposed to stretch my ethics, just because part of me believes that sexually, each of us is free to do what we want??


What should I do if my girlfriend's afraid to have sex?

My girlfriend and I have been going out for more than two years now. I am a first-year student (18 years old) and she is 17. We haven't had sex yet, but during the last year and a half we tried pretty much everything there is besides it. I really feel this is the right time, but when I try to talk to her about it, all she says is that she is afraid. She says it is not that she does not believe in losing virginity before marriage, she is just afraid. I don't want to pressure her, but I just feel that maybe I am not the right person for her or something. What should I do? Thanks.