What are my rights as a patient?

On a recent gynecological visit, I requested an HIV test. The doctor, a woman, responded with the question, "Why, too many New York nights?" I was shocked by her response, but, because I felt intimidated by her, I disregarded her remark. After I told her that I had never been tested and thought it was time, she looked at me and said, "I think you're okay." Needless to say, I did not get tested by her.

During my exam, a Pap smear, she put on her rubber gloves and then realized that she couldn't find an instrument. So she rummaged through the drawer, went to the door and turned the knob, requested something from the nurse, closed the door, and proceeded with the exam. She never changed her gloves. I was appalled, but never said anything. I don't know why, but she totally intimidated me — one of those women who seem to have all, brains, beauty family, wealth, etc.

My question to you is, do I report this woman? If so, to whom? It happened several months ago and it was outside of NY state. I appreciate any reply. Thank you.


What should I do if I'm interested in my nurse practitioner?

I am a graduate student and have been using Health Services for a number of years. On recent visits, I couldn't help but notice a certain nurse practitioner on whom I now have a big crush (pardon the school-kid terminology). On my last visit through walk-in, luck would have it that I got this person to treat me (a random happening--I didn't choose it in any way). I felt somewhat awkward during the visit, yet happy to see this person. Nonetheless, I realize that this is not an ideal state of affairs, but I don't know how to handle it. I am due to return to this same N.P. for follow-up.

Should I tell this person that I feel awkward receiving medical treatment from someone I would rather be dating, or should I just make an appointment with another person? Would it be possible to seek medical attention from this person after letting them know how I feel? If I do end my medical relationship with this person, how would I begin a different one? There don't seem to be many occasions when students and the Health Service staff interact outside a medical setting. I would hate to pass up the possibility of meeting that someone special due to professional constraints that would not hold had we met under different circumstances.


What can I do if my partner doesn't include me in their life?

I am in a relationship with a fellow student who likes to visit only late at night, and doesn't include me with other friends. When we do things, it is always the two of us alone, or with my friends. I don't particularly like the situation and have tried to ask for some changes, but it feels as if I am fighting an uphill battle. I'm not sure what to do.


What can I do if I'm intimidated by my incredibly intelligent partner?

I have just entered into my first real relationship with a guy that I really like. The problem is, he's incredibly bright. So much so that it intimidates me a little. He doesn't brag or make me feel unintelligent (and I know I'm not), it's just a part of who he is. He cares a lot about me, but I want to feel that our relationship is more than physical. I've always valued intelligence, and I really enjoy being with this guy, but there is an aspect of him that I'm not able to be a part of. Thanks for your help.


Is there such a thing as "true love"?

Is there such a thing as "true love?" The reason I ask is that my observations of the world today indicate that there are more people getting divorced, getting cheated on, and breaking up than there are happy couples that are in love and stay in love. I mean, are humans mentally and physically capable of staying in love with someone and being faithful to each other?


How can I be less lonely as a type A personality?

Okay, I'll admit it, I'm a very Type A personality, who's committed to the bottom line. Very action-results oriented, with schedules, deadlines, what's-going-on out to infinity. And I've noticed it tends to drive other people crazy, since most of the world is supposedly Type B. And according to them, I can't relax. They're probably right, since I'm 28 and haven't had a boyfriend since 18, and that was for a month (forget about sex, cause it ain't happening). There really isn't anxiety, since I've done all sorts of things (skydiving, scuba diving, working in a cubicle) that others would consider frightening, but I rather enjoy. But it's just how my brain is wired. So now what? Resign myself to a life of loneliness and celibacy? (Okay, that's scary.) How does a Type A interact with a world of Type B's? It's really hard, and lonely sometimes. Please help. Thank you for your time and attention.


How can I tell my husband that it hurts my feelings when he goes to strip clubs?

How do you tell your husband that talking about going to topless bars bothers you and that it hurts you? My husband of 6 yrs. keeps talking lately about going to these places and it hurts my feelings very much that I cry. I know it is man's nature to admire women but I feel these places are for guys that have no respect for themselves or their mates. We have a good sex life and get along great. He thinks he's teasing me but it really hurts to hear him talk this way. I would never do it to him, to go to a male strip bar. What can you tell me to say to turn him away from these thoughts?


How can I tell my boyfriend I don't want to have sex anymore?

I am 20 years old and recently lost my virginity to my boyfriend of six months. Before this happened, I strongly believed that I would wait until marriage because of both personal and religious reasons. My boyfriend completely understood my morals but then pushed the limits after only one month together and I didn't stop him. Not to mention we had sex before we told each other, "I love you." I regretted my decision the moment it happened. I know (now) that he loves me and I love him, but I still believe that what we are doing is wrong. I hate lying and that is exactly what I am doing by being dishonest with my family and peers. He acts so hurt when we do not have sex but I don't want to anymore. How can I tell him that I want to put an end to our sexual relationship?


What should I do if I'm having an affair with my professor but I think he's married?

I recently have begun having sexual relations with one of my professors. I know that it in itself is kind of wrong but I can't help it. He has told me that he is divorced but new evidence has come to my attention that allows me to believe he may be married with children. I've confronted him but he always avoids my questions with kisses. I think I am falling in love but I don't want to share him. What should I do?