Why can’t I control my bladder?

1) When I was a child, I used to wet the bed. This finally cleared up when I was about twelve. In the last month or so, it has come back — except it's even more embarrassing now because I'm twenty-eight and share my bed with my husband! It started when I had a bad cold, so I thought perhaps it was just stress incontinence caused by coughing while asleep. I do suffer somewhat from stress incontinence, but I learned to deal with it when awake by clamping my legs together whenever I cough or sneeze. I talked to my doctor about this, and he also thought it was due to coughing while asleep. He treated my cough and assured me that once the cough was gone, the bedwetting would be, too. Well, my cough has cleared up, but I am still wetting the bed almost every night! It's mortifying, and I feel like my husband finds me disgusting (not that I really blame him). He says it doesn't matter to him, but I feel like I ought to be put in a nursing home. Is there anything I can do to stop this?

2) I have an embarrassing problem that has always held me from going to a doctor. I do not know if it's called incontinence. When I'm out of the rest room, I always find a few drops of urine being discharged later in my dress. This usually occurs when I bend down, or when I sneeze, or sometimes even due to a jerk. I have tried to prevent this many a time by remaining in the comfort room for invariably a long time trying to make sure that I'm done fully, but in vain.

Being a Muslim, I always find it very difficult to offer my prayers due to this. I'm suffering from this problem for a long time. Would you please advise if there is any cure for this? Can some pills treat this or an operation is a must?


Does wearing ear plugs disrupt the natural ear cleaning process?

I am a very light sleeper so I began wearing ear plugs to be able to sleep uninterruptedly. I moved into a quieter neighborhood now and thought that I would be able to sleep without them but it turns out that my boyfriend is a snorer and so I have to keep wearing them. I know that ears clean themselves out at night but because I'm wearing the ear plugs I have a lot of wax build-up. How can I clean my ears? And also, do you think that prolonged use of ear plugs can cause some kind of damage?


How can we make it more equal when it comes to initiating sex?

I have been with my long term girlfriend for five years. I am seriously thinking about getting engaged.

Over the last three years she has taken control of our sex life. I have definitely become submissive in the bedroom. We don’t get into BDSM, but she always decides when, where, and how. She loves this control. While I have come to accept my submissive role, and I do certainly enjoy making love to her and pleasing her, I have asked her on many occasions for some variety. I would like to enter her sometimes and she has not performed oral sex on me for years. Granted, I am a bit under average in the endowment area and she always has a hard time reaching orgasm with straight intercourse. I have tried to talk to her, but she always shuts down the convo by making me admit that I love pleasuring her. Of course when we start fooling around I am so excited that I just follow her lead.

Honestly, I am very happy in every other aspect and I don't want to add any friction to the relationship. She is a very private person and doesn’t like to talk sex. Visiting a therapist is not an option as I have already subtly suggested it and been rebuffed. Should I be overly concerned? Should I continue to press the issue (although it doesn’t seem to be getting me anywhere) or just accept my role? Again, I do enjoy pleasing her and I usually get off. I guess I could be happy continuing this way and I don't want to lose her. I would love your thoughts.


What kind of lube should I use when I cock-stuff?

I have started "cock-stuffing" in the past year or so. I use a glass thermometer and insert it into my urethra. I know that this is wildly dangerous — as the glass could break — but I thought it safer as it is manufactured very smoothly.

I know other men who use a variety of implements — pens, markers, tubes, etc., but I have only done it a few times — and it seems that the glass — while not safe as it could break — is safer as it must surely be smoother.

I use my own saliva as a lube — as I am not sure if a personal lubricant — i.e., Wet, KY jelly, or the like, is safe. Not that putting a piece of glass into your urethra is all that safe to start with.

My question — in the end — is personal lube okay to use? Is this a common fetish — I don't do it often — and it doesn't seem to affect me adversely afterwards.

Thank you for any light you can shed on this.


Why was my first time so painful?

1) I have never had sex, but I have tried now twice with my boyfriend, and it has been incredibly painful. It felt like there was a barrier inside me, and the second time I bled. I feel like I am relaxed, and my boyfriend is very gentle and slow, but it still really hurts — more than I think it should. I am able to use tampons — I'm not that small — but I don't know what the problem is. Is it supposed to hurt this much? Could there be something wrong?

2) I'm a virgin, and the first time my boyfriend inserted his fingers in my vagina, it hurt a lot, and I got sore down there. I didn't reach an orgasm, but faked it so he would stop. I didn't enjoy it at all and I was wondering... is this going to happen when I have sex? Is it going to be as disappointing?


How do I manage feelings of embarrassment over having to visit a gynecologist?

I'm a 21 year old woman with white lumpy vaginal discharge (odorless)...I thought it was thrush but after two courses of yeast infection cream it has not resolved...I have never had sex, so can't have an STD...I get bad pain in my lower back and sacro-iliac region with my period and with ovulation though I don't know if this is relevant...I'm embarrassed to see a health care professional about this and don't know if I'm just concerned over nothing...